It’s easy to name what’s wrong.
Harder to hear what’s being asked of us.
Harder still to meet that moment with presence over performance.

In leadership, we often look for clarity, responsibility, action. But accountability – done right – isn’t about ticking boxes or tracking tasks. It’s something deeper. More human. And often, more hidden.

I’ve been sitting with a powerful awareness recently: many of the behaviours we dismiss, judge, or try to manage away are, in fact, calls to be seen. To be acknowledged, included, and understood as part of a larger system at play.

When I think about the challenges leaders face today – the missed deadlines, defensiveness, over-functioning, silence in meetings, the team member who’s always angry or always late – I don’t see resistance. I see accountability asking to be seen.

What’s Being Asked of You?

In my work with leaders and teams, one of the most vital practices we explore is how to Lead with Love. Not the soft, sentimental kind – but the fierce kind. The kind that sees clearly. Holds steady. And invites people into their full potential, even when they think they can’t.

That kind of leadership begins by asking:
Am I seeing what’s really going on here?

Because often:
– What looks like disengagement is actually a cry for clarity.
– What looks like defiance may be fear.
– And what looks like avoidance might be a legacy of not being seen, heard, or valued in the system before.

To see this clearly is an act of exceptional leadership.
An invitation to practice accountability in its truest form – as an act of love.

What We Fail to See, We Fail to Hold

When we rush to blame or fix, we skip the most important step in any accountability conversation: inclusion.

Inclusion, in this sense, means:
I see you. I acknowledge you. I honour your place in the system.

It doesn’t mean excusing harmful behaviour or avoiding responsibility. Quite the opposite. It’s what allows us to invite others (and ourselves) to be accountable without shame, fear, or fragmentation.

In fact, when we bypass seeing, we often escalate the very dynamics we’re trying to resolve. We manage symptoms instead of making sense of the system.

That’s why, in accountability-done-right cultures, leaders are not just clarity-makers or consequence-givers – they are sense-makers, pattern-recognisers, and space-holders. They know that inviting people to be accountable requires holding them in view, even when their behaviour is difficult to witness.

How to Begin Seeing, Systemically

If something is “off” in your team, before you jump into diagnosis or delegation, pause.

Ask yourself:
– What am I not seeing here?
– Who might be feeling unseen, unheard, or excluded?
– Where might a symptom be signalling something systemic?

This small moment of attention shifts everything.
Not because you’ve solved it, but because you’ve started seeing it.

That’s when energy starts to move. Conversations soften.

Insights emerge.
Because when someone is truly seen, they no longer need to shout.

From Seeing to Shifting

In my work with leadership teams, we often explore the idea of holding a bigger space. That means expanding your capacity to sit with discomfort, difference, and disorder – not to tolerate it, but to transform it.

When accountability gets hard – and it will – ask yourself:
– Can I hold a bigger space for this person, this pattern, this pain?
– Can I see beyond the behaviour to what’s really being asked of me here?

When we do, we don’t just create better performance. We create deeper belonging.
And that, more than any performance metric, is what sustains high-functioning, human-centred systems.

This is what we mean by accountability done right – not forced or formulaic, but felt, fierce, and deeply human.

A Reflection for the Week Ahead

Think of a person, behaviour, or pattern in your team that’s frustrating you right now.
Instead of trying to fix it, pause and ask:

“Is accountability asking to be seen here?”

Then don’t act – just attend. Stay curious.
What arises may not be obvious.
But it will be real.
And that’s where your exceptional leadership begins.

See Accountability Differently

If this resonates with you, join me for the Own It Academy Open Day this Wednesday, 4 June at midday AEST.

We’ll explore what it means to lead accountability in a way that’s deeply human, systemically wise, and genuinely sustainable – without burning out or picking up the slack for others.

Let us know you’re joining us here