Right now, many leaders are scanning the horizon for what will finally tip the balance.
More resources.
Less disruption.
Clearer systems.

But in my experience  –  and in the research  –  the heaviest barriers don’t live out there. They live inside.

Not glaring flaws. Not obvious failings. But small, insistent narratives that whisper in the background. Narratives so ordinary, they almost pass as truth.  And it is these silent scripts, more than any external circumstance, that so often decide how fully we step into our magnificence.

The Five Invisible Scripts
“I’m not ready yet.”
We wait for conditions to settle, for confidence to arrive, for timing to be right.

“It’s indulgent.”
Service-oriented leaders often feel guilty investing in themselves. The story says the organisation, the team, the family deserve it more.

“This will expose my weaknesses.”
Turning inward feels risky: what if I don’t like what I see? What if others don’t?

“I’m not a big enough leader.”
The impostor voice insists that real leadership is reserved for those with bigger titles, bigger budgets, bigger platforms. 

“I should already know this.”
The ego whispers that needing support means we’re behind, that asking for help undermines credibility.

 What Lies Beneath…
These aren’t random thoughts; they’re well-documented default scripts and stories.

Impostor Phenomenon: First described by Clance & Imes (1978), is the persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of competence. It feeds the sense of not ready, not big enough, and I should already know this. Even the most capable leaders describe waiting for the moment they’ll be “found out.”

Self-handicapping and Loss Aversion: Arkin & Oleson (1998) demonstrated how people avoid risks that might threaten their self-image. For leaders, this looks like delaying action until conditions are “perfect” (I’m not ready yet), dismissing self-investment as selfish (it’s indulgent), or avoiding honest reflection for fear of what it might reveal (this will expose my weaknesses).

These patterns are deeply human. Not flaws, but protective mechanisms. And that’s why naming them is so liberating. Once visible, they lose their grip.

The Deeper Truth
When we shine light on the scripts, a different story emerges.

Readiness isn’t found  –  it’s built.
While we wait for readiness, the moment for leadership passes. The flicker of wanting something more is readiness enough.

Self-leadership is service, not indulgence.
When you are lit from within, you illuminate the path for others and show what’s possible by your example.

Courage begins where fear lives.
Weakness isn’t exposed by reflection  –  possibility and magnificence is.

Leadership is a practice, not a position.
Title doesn’t determine greatness. Choice does.

Learning is the start of greatness.
“Should” is just a barrier word. Growth lives beyond it.

This is the inside-out foundation of leading, exceptionally.  Because before you lead others well, you must first lead yourself well.

A contemplation for you
Which of these scripts has the strongest hold on you right now? 
And what shifts when you flip it?

And if you’re ready…
Reflect → Journal:  What invisible script has shaped my choices this week?

Explore → The Flicker is a quiet guide to help you notice what’s stirring.

Activate → If you’re ready to move beyond these beliefs, my Exceptional You mentoring journey creates the space for that shift.  And if you’d like to explore these ideas with your whole team, my Hacking Human Keynote Series cracks open the invisible scripts that limit performance  –  and shows how to flip them.

With truth and love